Dear Girls,
Thanks to the women of #MeToo, the world is changing for the better in at least one way. The world in which you are growing up is finally having a reckoning about an age-old problem – men who act like boys, which is putting it very mildly.
You see, most boys do not understand women are wonderful, beautiful, powerful creations who are capable of amazing things. They do not comprehend women deserve respect and decency. These “boys” mistake a woman’s natural beauty for an excuse to act really inappropriately. They have no impulse control and in many cases, their moral compasses are broken.
Sadly, as you have seen in the news lately, there are far too many of men-boys who view women solely as objects of pleasure. Or someone to try to dominate. In many cases, these boys act so terribly every dad of girls would be well-served to take justice into their own hands. We know that wouldn’t go well for them if it were one of you!
Thanks to #MeToo many of these boys are finally being called out. More importantly, girls not much older than you, as well as women just like your mom, are being empowered to stand-up and push-back against these “boys”.
You may have also seen on the news Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” story about this. It is a compelling story of brave women who stood firm for themselves and for girls like you. As your father, I am thankful to those women.
What Real Men Look Like
I don’t want you to think all men are boys or jerks though. As we have told you all since you were little girls, your prince is out there already. He’s just waiting to cross paths with you. It is our continued prayer he is no longer a boy, but instead, he’s grown into a real man.
A real man is just as complicated as you are a wonderful, strong, beautiful women. He is a man that is drawn to your beauty, yet is cautious in his approach. He is strong in both character and conviction. He would lay down his life for his principles, but only after he has committed to living fully through them. As your dad, he is what I want for you more than anything else.
A real man also wants true intimacy with you; not the artificial stuff to which #MeToo is standing against .
You are all old enough now to know about the magic that happens when a man and woman love one another in marriage. (And yes we know we’re old-fashioned like that.) Real men understand natural, beautiful intimacy occurs only when both parties consent to the magic in the moment. Real men, not boys, always desire this kind of authentic connection.
Now, this may come as a shock to you, but your dad is not perfect. (Shhhh! Don’t tell mom!) I hope I’m at least close in your eyes though. Even so, your dad has to fight the urge to not look too long at a pretty lady that walks by or flashes on the movie screen. Why? Because most men are wired to be attracted to beautiful women when they see them. That’s part of our DNA in a way.
What is not part of a real man though is using a natural attraction to women as an excuse to say something to make a woman feel uncomfortable or worse, do something to harm her. The secret here is real men know a woman’s true beauty lies beneath the skin. And they work really hard to get to know that part of the woman before ever saying or doing something that even hints at intimacy.
Close to Home
You have all heard the story about how your mom asked me out on our first date. I already thought she was beautiful. I learned over the next few months and years she was also fantastic and amazing. And now here we are extraordinarily happily married almost twenty-five years.
Now I cannot take even half the credit for our marriage and our success because your mom is an incredible woman. As such, she deserves my adoration, love, and respect. That’s the secret to being a real man by the way – loving a woman of character and beauty, in fact, helps make a boy into a real man. It is a mystery in many ways.
When a man loves a woman in the truest sense of the word, he and she become “one.” The jerks of the world will never understand this almost spiritual phenomenon. The real men of the world aspire to it and work for it. Your real man will court you and adore you for it. That is because YOUR real man is yours and yours alone. And in that commitment, intimacy thrives.
Closing Thoughts
I am excited for all of you because the world is finally listening. It is telling all women that you deserve nothing less than a real man. Boys cannot apply. This is a touchy subject, and some may disagree with us talking about it. But then again, those are the same people that are afraid of a simple, but mighty #MeToo.
A movement has taken off in the past few months that is long overdue. No one is sure exactly where it will end up, but there is no doubt it is headed in the right direction. #MeToo is not just about victims. It is about daughters, and dads and moms of daughters, standing strong together.
It is about telling some men they are no longer allowed to act like boys.
I love all three of you more than words can convey.
Forever yours,
Dad
