Dream Big Dads!
The new year is a time of natural reflection and anticipation. We ponder what the preceding year was like for our loved ones and us. We hope and plan for the year before us. And we take stock of where we are in our journey compared to where we want to be. And we dream.
We dream about finding more fulfillment, more intimacy, more satisfaction, more affirmation, more purpose. Perhaps we dream about fewer things as well like less stress, less conflict, less “busyness.” We should be dreaming all these things, dads.
We should be dreaming of these things, and more, because our loved ones – our children, our spouses, our co-workers, and our descendants – are counting on us to dream the big dreams. They should expect us to think about better futures for our families, our communities, and our world. When we think big thoughts, we begin to lay the foundation for significant change. Talk is cheap though. They expect us to then pursue those dreams.
Words on a screen or a page are not enough to compel us, though. Only something inside of us as men, as people, will drive us to do what it takes to bring our dreams to fruition. Some of us are driven by the fear of failure. For others, it might be a relentless drive to improve your family’s quality of life. Still, others take steps to pursue their dreams for the satisfaction of achieving goals. I suspect it is a combination of all three, and then some, for most dads.
The Danger of Dreaming
There is a danger to dreaming though. We can dream so much we fail to actually take steps to achieve them. Like Walter Mitty, we picture ourselves to be heroes in a series of epic struggles only to find ourselves still sitting in the same chair day after day. We think, yet we never “do.”
As dads, we envision a stronger, thinner, healthier version of ourselves, but we never put the running shoes on or step inside a gym. We imagine not living paycheck to paycheck, yet we never pursue a college degree or seek more challenging assignments at work. We dream of healthier relationships with our kids, however, we never spend quality time with them.
Dreams without deeds result in disappointment. Dreams that drive actions produce positive change. These dreams help create better dads, stronger relationships, and higher satisfaction with the lives we’ve been given. We imagine better versions of ourselves and our lives when we dream. In turn, these give us the direction in which we need to move.
Resolutions Need Dreams
One of the reasons new year resolutions fail is because they are not tied to big enough dreams. We resolve to do more of some things and less of other things, and we soon forget the “why”. Dreams provide the “why” to our resolutions. They are the foundation upon which we create resolutions, which are merely the actions and steps to achieve our dreams. Without big enough ideas, our resolutions get crowded out too quickly.
Resolutions are necessary for sure, but if the resolution is not based on a dream of a better something (a better you, a better marriage, a better world, etc.) it has no depth or inspiration. A resolution without roots will not survive life’s storms. On the contrary, when we begin with big dreams that inspire us to resolve (a.k.a. make a resolution) to take steps to achieve our dreams, we create fertile soil for our dreams to grow into reality.
For example, when my dream is to be around when to walk my daughters down the aisle on their wedding days in the coming years, I can resolve to eat cleaner and exercise regularly, so my health improves. When your dream is to have a vibrant, healthy marriage, you resolve to handle conflict appropriately, and calmly and you seek out mentors to show you how to do so. When your dream is to inspire others to take actions to care for orphans, you resolve to create an organization that does just that like the great people at the Hope Affect.
It Starts with Your Dreams
Some guys do not need to be inspired; they are driven individuals who only need a spark. It seems from experience though, all dads need encouragement at times to see past the daily grind and instead gaze upon the horizon. This is where our big dreams lie – just past where we can see them, but knowing we can reach them.
You may already have your list of resolutions for the new year, or perhaps you do not have any because life has taught you they are overrated. Maybe they are, but it is because you have not taken the time to dream the big dreams for this year and beyond. Last year might have been a terrible year, so you are content with just leaving it in the past and just hoping this year is better.
Let’s just pretend for a moment though this year is going to be fantastic. We know by now as dads and men it will not be perfect. That is just the world in which we live. It can still be a great year though. And it starts with your dreams.
So what ARE your big dreams for the new year? I challenge us all to take a few moments in the quiet of the early morning or late night and write them down. Put pen to paper or words to screen and dream big! You have broad shoulders and strong arms for a reason – our families and our communities count on us to lead with vision and conviction. It all starts with dreaming big dreams.
Closing Thoughts
My hope for all of us is the new year is full of big dreams that in turn enrich the lives of those around us. If you would like to become a part of the conversation we’re having this year about navigating life as dads, husbands, partners, colleagues, and citizens, please fill out the contact form below or on the homepage.
Keep at it, dads! What you’re doing is making a difference!
Cheers,
Jeff